Was it when I googled, “What are some of the best-paid professions?”

Or was it in Grade 12, when Mr. Grover invited his friend, a well known defence lawyer, to speak to our philosophy class?

After the talk, I asked him what being a lawyer actually had to do with philosophy. He smiled and answered by quoting the philosopher we were studying that week, Hobbes: without law, the state of nature is a state of war.

Or was it when I watched Annalise Keating have an anxiety attack before arguing at the Supreme Court (girl, same)? 

Or was it in law school, while working on a 10,000-word dissertation on Dharma, cosmic law, duty, and righteous conduct?

I was genuinely mind-blown to learn that a Supreme Court could recognize disputed land as belonging not to a trust or legal entity, but to a deity himself, and in that moment, the boundaries between law, belief, and personhood completely shifted.

Or was it when I spectated a homicide trial?

Or was it during a coffee chat with a Big Law partner?

I expected corporate jargon but instead heard a thoughtful conversation about the real harm of child labour and environmental damage, and how the firm advises clients to address these issues not because of DEI or ESG checklists, but out of genuine concern for education, sustainability, and long-term impact.

Or was it when my little sisters decided that “my older sister is a lawyer” was now their entire personality?

I think it was when I spectated a homicide trial.

I watched two of the best defence lawyers in Ontario (according to the bailiff and the other lawyers who came to spectate)—one calm, measured, and effortless, the other loud, angry, and full of aggression. Over the course of the heated trial, I saw everyone from the judge to the lawyers react differently under pressure. It struck me that Mr. Grover’s friend’s analogy about the state of war didn’t just apply to the “criminals.” Without the social contract, even the most educated and disciplined could lose their composure, revealing how fragile civility can be.

In that courtroom, I understood there is a fine line between the man behind the bar and the man in front of it.

So to answer your question, 

I do not know, and maybe that is the point.